Don't be scared of falling & not knowing if someone is going to catch you. That's what alot of guys ask me to do when they start the whole dating process. They ask me to fall and not fully know whether I'm going to hit the ground like i did last time. I've been through every thing imaginable not including STD's when it comes to relationships. I've dealt with 2 and 3 month pregnant Baby Mothers while me and the guy were in an 8 Month Relationship (read that line again i don't think you understood it). I've dealt with Crazy Baby Mothers, Down Low Brother (I still have a hit out on him), Lies, Cheating, And YES I've even been slapped up once (Trust and believe He got slapped, kicked, and scratched back. Tina Turner ain't have SHIT on me that day at the bus stop).
So when a guy even asks for my number or expresses interest in me these days i tend to run at the FIRST sight of any kind of problem. I wont say I'm not strong enough but i don't think that i could mentally take another crazy situation surrounding my love life. I think I'd be the next female featured on SNAPPED! on the Oxygen channel (Ladies Yall Watch Snapped, stop acting like you don't know what show I'm talking about).
Well, its been over a year since my last
serious relationship. A Year and some months that I've been growing, learning, and finding out who I am, what I like, what I want, and what I don't like. I've revamped myself in a year. I've changed what i WILL and WONT tolerate. I think I'm a better person, and to me that's all that matters. Some people change for the worse and some people change for the better.I believe I've changed for the better. I look back and all my real friends are still here so I cant be that bad at all. I look back and people that I've rid myself of because they didn't fit in my equation (X+Y = Happiness) wish that they could make amends meet. When I was adding every Ashley, Tom, Jerry, and Amanda; they didn't always give me the correct end result (Happiness). I decided that I had to divide myself from them and subtract them from the equation.
LET ME GET BACK ON TOPIC. I say all of that to say, I'm no longer afraid, no longer scared to fall and hit the ground because now I realize that while I'm afraid of falling; each time I fell I GOT MY ASS BACK UP. So its that easy. Fall....Get Up...TRY AGAIN. Love is trial and error. You try it out, it doesn't work, you try something else, something different, until you find something that works!
So right now I'm currently not falling and I don't plan on falling easily either. IM NOT AFRAID, but I'm also not stupid wink. So when moving on dont do the whole rebound thing. It makes things worse alot of the time.
So to all you heartbroken, sad, love song listening to, "I hate men, and Niggas ain't shit" females. Get over it because it will stress you the hell out and have you going bald, and being bitter forever. You fall, hit the ground and get back up!
P.S. I Asked My brother what he thought a Strong Black Woman was (because we were watching some show about black women who date white men because the females believed that their Black counter parts couldn't handle a "Strong Black Woman") and he said this to me:
"Artelia (ughhhh My Middle name) these black girls think their strong black women because 'They Don't Take No Shit'. Those are the confused ones who don't know the definition of being strong. A strong personality only means your covering up a weakness. Having a strong personality and being strong is TWO SEPARATE THINGS. Just because she can scream holler and yell at the top of her lungs and start drama don't mean shit. That bitch needs to get her mind right. A STRONG black female is one who can go through many obstacles and NEVER lose her goodness. She can go through it, get through it, and keep on pushing minus the man hating, cursing and fucked up attitude."
I Love Him So much he always puts everything in perspective for me. Yeah he loosely uses the word bitch as well but trust me he never uses it to describe a female NOT of the Bitch species.