..and all the newspaper said, was another nigga dead, and its fucked up
--Fabolous.


Sometimes I wish that I could go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all.

The longer I've been here, the more my beliefs disintegrated into myths. The more I knew about life, the more I've cried. The more I tried to believe, the more i was disappointed and hurt.

I just want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all.

I never wanted to write letters addressed to heaven so that my slain brother could read them. Explaining how upset I was at God for taking him from this earth earlier than I had planned for him to leave. Never thought I'd play a 1 on 1 ball-game while waiting for my best friend to come play against me. The sun fell. The dark intruded on our unplayed game, and he never came. I'm still waiting to this day, but until he comes to get me I'll play 1 on 1 with his ghost. I never thought I'd have to place flowers on grasses new growth which grew from the earths bald headed surface where a classmate was placed under, buried under, lying dead....under. My tears watering your resting place.

I never thought the number of lost YOUNG souls from my neighborhood would rise higher than the waters of New Orleans. Puddles of Crimson and a sea of brown skin.

They were martyrs for my education. You died so that I could learn, so that I could know, so that I could understand and remember to..... Believe in nothing, and open my eyes and pay attention until I knew everything.

Because, fairy tales are non existent and pony's are real, but they don't possess a single long horn, and that rainbows only come AFTER the rain. How Ironic......Rainbows only come After the rain. No matter how beautiful that rainbow is, look at it and remember that it only comes AFTER the rain.....


New York City's Death toll rises and the more obituaries I see the more I notice a trend, the youth are going before the elderly grandparents are outliving their children's children. We need to speak up when its at the hands of those sworn in with hands on bibles to protect us. We need to speak out when these deaths are at the hands of people whose hands are the same color as our own.