"Hi" - He smiles.

I Smile "Hey"

"I was wondering, i saw you from across the yard, and you haven't danced all night" - says

"Yeah, I....I Don't dance, not like these people do" - I say and look around at all the grinding and dry humping going on around me.

It was a summer night, I was hot but not sweating; rocking the hottest outfit at the party with my hair freshly washed and set. I had the fresh face, meaning no make-up, not even a hint of eye liner. Just Vaseline. I was rocking that fragrance called ...Soap. Obviously I didn't want to be here to begin with, but somehow some way Angie (my best friend at the time) managed to drag me here.

"Lol, so what are you saying, your too good for us common folk" - Still flashing a row of perfect white teeth. (I have a weakness like you wouldn't believe for a great smile)

"Nah, I'm not saying that at all, i just don't, i guess I'm more reserved, or maybe even too shy" - still looking around trying to avoid eye contact.

"Well My name's Mike, whats yours" - he says as he extends his hand. As a Girl, growing up in Coney Island, East new York - Brooklyn, And South Jamaica Queens, I didn't know what that hand was for.

"Shenda" - I reply and finally realize that this young man was trying to shake my hand. Major points.

"Lol you looked confused" - he says bopping his head to Jigga, My Nigga

"I Apologize, I'm just not used to guys shaking my hand, especially not from the east" (The section of Brooklyn we were in that night) - I reply as i finally took a quick glance at him and noticed how gorgeous he was in the face. He also had that bad boy look, something about that bad boy look, demeanor, it turned me ON.

"Its cool, so Shenda, why would your boyfriend walk away and leave you unaccompanied in this little corner, at a backyard bash full of eager men, I know you see the wolves eyeing you" he chuckles and points to a group of guys, some I knew from high school, some I knew from the neighborhood, and a couple I had never saw in my life; they were all staring me down as if I were a piece of meat; which I'm sure I was to them.

"Hey, Mike is it?" He nods yeah, "Yeah, well Mike, I personally don't like guys who beat around the bush and try to disguise what they're plans really are. If you want to know something just ask it." - I said as i searched for Angie.I saw her all hugged up on some random Jamaican guy with too tight skinny jeans. "Excuse Me" - and began to walk away.

"Shenda, umm before you go, I was wondering if you had a boyfriend, a man, or someone you were seeing, whatever it is that you girls call it these days, and if not, could i get your number and call you sometime." - he blurted out, it would have fallen on deaf ears but he managed to say it all before the Jamaican DJ started yelling "Bummbbaaaccllooootttttt" loudly into the microphone which traveled through the giant Bose speakers in a friends backyard, and echoed off of the cement walls enclosing us in the yard. He managed to say something else but i couldn't make it out because the DJ was now yelling

"Me Nuh Wan See No BLOODCLOT PUSSYHOLE Chi-Chi Man Do Nuh Dutty Whine"

I Walked closer - "What'd you say, this bootleg ass Bobby conders yelling in my ear and shit i didn't hear you"

He smiled that award winning smile again which was obviously contagious because i smiled, and didn't know where the hell that came from.

"I Said, your entirely too cute for me to not at least TRY to get to know"

I held my hand out "Give me your phone"

He handed over a sidekick, how typical of a Brooklyn Dude to have a sidekick. I just dialed one of my 3 cellphone numbers, the one i always pick up, handed him his phone back and walked off.

We met a couple of times, had dinner, he never tried anything crazy, and never made me feel like less than a lady. Eventually, I don't know what happened but we kind of fell off. He went his way and i went mines. I found myself asking ..."Whatever happened to Mike"

I Don't know. maybe he's a doctor, a lawyer, a politician, a drug dealer, in prison, dead (I hope not) or moved to another country....

Until, I walked into him in Lennox mall in Atlanta.

Who would have known that 6 years later i would run into my high school sweet heart who never was, in the same mall that i happened to be shopping in. I didn't know what to do, speak, say hi, ask him if he remembered me.

I didn't know what to say, or how he would react so ...... i stood there.

I didn't say a word, I let him walk past me, and into the arms of another........man.

This one on the other hand is a true story, with real people. So I was just on this blog and the blogger was telling about funny stuff that happened to her on the trains in NYC. I was inspired but i cant talk about the train because i haven't been on one in months and the last time i was on a train i was stalked by a rat the size of a fucking puppy dog. YES On the damn platform Waiting for the A or C train at 4 in the morning coming from a party in Brooklyn. alone (Im a thug for that because i was on Kingston-throop real brooklyn heads know thats a place you dont wanna be at after 12am)

Since i dont want to relive running up and down the platform away from a very gangsta ass rat i decided to tell about the time i saw cassidy in the mall and DISRESPECTED HIM (Oh yeah O.G. Shenda). I used to love cassidy's music but i wasnt a die hard fan and im too pretty/classy to be a groupie (conceited ol' shenda ...i know). Anyway i went to the mall in Atlanta with my homegirl (I miss her so muchhh) and we were going to get her check from her job and then get some philly cheese steaks from this place called Charlies (They have this place in Queens Center Mall in Rego Park, Queens I LOVE THEIR STEAK!!!) Anyway So she worked at two stores. Some kiddy store called LIMITED TOO and she worked by this mediocre ass sneaker store so we were walking past the sneaker store and it was like 6 guys behind us. (Im From BK So i Watch and notice everyyyyything.)

Anyway so one of the guys was staring MAD HARD and waving for us to come over, and i waved him off like nahh, no thank you. So i turned around to see if any of the guys were from school or something and turned around and bust out laughing

MY Friend - "Bitch, Whats so funny?"

Me (Real Loud) - "That Ugly Cassidy Lookin Ass Nigga Talking About Come Here"

Us Together - "Mwahahahahaha haaaa haaaaa" (because she thought he looked like cassidy too)

Cassidy (Lookin Ass Nigga) - "Its Funny You Should Say That Ma"

Me (whispering to my friend) - "shiiiiitttt, bitch i think he heard me"

Sidenote* - i cant whisper .. i guess its from all those years of yelling up at project windows for somebody to come to the window

Cassidy (Lookin ass nigga) - "Yeah ma I heard You"

Me (Feeling Bad about what i said turned around to say it wasnt me, and that it was my friend who said it LMAO)

Me - "That wasn........"

Turns around quickly and says To My Friend "OH SHIT! Bitch ... That IS CASSIDY"

Both Of Us - " Ohhhhhhhh Shit (Silence) hahahahaaaaaaaaaa Oh Shit!!"

That had to be the funniest and also most embarassing thing that ever happened to me. Eventually he called us over again and we went over and i still blamed it on my friend so that he wouldnt shoot us or something (I think he went to jail for murder or something) I started asking him why he was in the wack ass sneaker store. He was out there for a show and needed a fresh pair of kicks, we explained to him how to get to a sneaker store in Arbor mall in Atlanta and told him to check out Lennox Mall and Atlanta Station, My Friend swapped Numbers with one of his friends I declined to giving ANYONE my number, I knew the deal, Hiss flunkies was using him to get our attention so that they could get some groupie love too. (I almost got a job at the sneaker store tho) and we walked off and laughed about it in Red Lobstser.

This is word to My Motha. Lol I'll Put my hand on a bible and tell this story in court (and i cant get Lil' Kim'd; end up in jail for lying on the stand Smh Nuh unhh)

I couldn't believe the shit i was watching. What Just Happened? Pictures flashed in the back of my head of what had just taken place.

The gun
The blood
The scream
The sound of flesh hitting the floor
the smell of death and gun powder
seeing her lay there
lifeless, bleeding, motionless, soundless, ... dead. I wanted to cry, i wanted to run, so many emotions at one time. I wanted to run to her side and pull the needle out her arm. why me i kept asking no one in particular. I stopped believing in God when i was 6 years old. I didn't believe in him anymore because if he existed; the hand that i was dealt would have never been dealt to me. Royal flush? Nah i was royally fucked as my grandma said before she died. I didn't know who to blame for the crime scene i stood in front of. Do i blame her; my mom who layed there, most likely dead for good this time. Should I blame the needle in her arm which got her shot? Did i blame the now non-existent holy being who people claimed lived above me? the shooter? The crack? WHO'S FAULT WAS THIS? Mines???

I mean I stood there and did nothing. I know i could have done something. I could have stopped it, i could have cried, screamed, yelled, fought, did something right?. I was only 9 years old and would have to live with the fact that i let my mother die. I killed her. I might as well had pulled the trigger to the gun that shot the bullet that may or may not have killed her.

Before i realized what was happening the man in black grabbed me by my arm and I yelled "Mommmaaa get up please help meeee mommmaaa" He pushed me down and said a bad word. I cant say it, but I'll say something that rhymed with it ... "Shut the 'Truck' Up". I wasn't going to listen to him, he shot my mom, did he think I would really listen to him? I yelled for her again hoping maybe she wasn't dead. Maybe she would save me like that time when we were in that crack house on Sutphin. I cried and whimpered then i heard a zipper and felt a hand go over my mouth and a pain that I wont be able to erase for years. I couldn't yell it hurt so much. Instead I cried and decided that day, God was a fraud, he was fake, theres no way he was real, if he was real he would just whisper to this man on top of me hurting me "Just Kill Her". Even though i didn't believe in him I prayed to him anyway to just let the man kill me. The guy didn't so, i knew there was no such thing as God.

I may not be grammatically correct or spell every word correct on here and yes i use double negatives when I'm typing, but i was always a writer at heart. You know when i decided that i wanted to be a writer? After reading a book called ASSATTA -- by Assatta Shakur. I used to think that i was a black panther myself, and a revolutionary at heart; i was. Though i may make mistakes while typing here its only because i tend to type the words that i think, in the order that i think them. DONT GET ME WRONG, im not the perfect writer or the best writer, but in my heard i am. I also want to say that in order for a person to be a writer they also have to be a READER. This poem is a poem that i think expresses my love for literature.

"Poetic Bloodline" - By Gemineye.

One night, God came to me in a dream
With a scheme that seemed to be out of this world
He approached me and opened his robe
And showed me a hypodermic needle in the shape of a pen
And my first reaction was to step back fast
But then God grabbed me and said
“Slow down my child,
I’ve got a job for you to do”
And with a burst of light God grabbed my arm
And said “I mean you no harm”
And he pushed the pen in
And it filled my arteries and God charted me
To write some new shit, some true shit, something just for you shit
And when I was done with part one
God said “write some part two shit”
He injected me with Billy’s Blues and a muse of Langston Hughes
And God said “you’ve acquired some of the tools in the school you’ve been attending
But now it’s time to stop pretending”
And he started sending into my bloodstream
The poetic feats of John Keats
And the published greats of W.B. Yeats
And just when I thought God was through
He started slipping me hits of Maya Angelou
And God asked “do you know what I’ve handed you?”
And my response was “No” and God said “let me show”
And he continued to fill my veins the same way he had been
Giving me a fix of Emily Dickenson and my bloodstream seemed to scream
As God gave me the liquidated literary genius of W.E.B.
And I got lost between doses of Robert Frost
And my eyes got blurry in a flurry
And I was no longer seeing ‘em but I could feel Emerson, Tennyson, and Stevenson
And God said “you won’t get far without Paul Orange Dunbar
And you can’t start spittin ‘til I’ve given you Whitman”
And God kept filling me and it felt like he was killing me
And I closed my arm tight and God snapped it back open
And screamed “you’re not yet ready to write”
He said “tonight has just begun
Everything’s alright my son
You see I need you
I use poetry to teach people
The world I created has been overrun by ignorant thinking
And I need poets to take the world back and break the curse
Now unbend your arm so I can give you William Wordsworth”
And again the pen was shoved in my veins and God grabbed the reigns
And as if I was a mule
He said “I use you as my tool and plow the field with you
Fulfilling empty minds’ needs while planting knowledge seeds
No longer will there be a flourishing time for malnourishing minds
I want you to make intelligence a law cuz ignorance is a crime
Now I need you to go and reap what you sow
While captivating minds like Edgar Allen Poe
I gave you the wings so now fly like the raven
This world needs saving
Feel free to fight off your fears
Cuz they’ll disappear within this injection
Of my tears which contains the remains of great things gone
And new things to come beyond the next dawn
You’re the next in a bloodline of greats
You are a poet
You command the attention of large groups
You ready the troops for revolution
You write words that can commend or condemn
Turn boys into men
Make other poets push pens
And you must be about something more than slam scores based on ten
Because you are a poet
Think about all the great things poets have accomplished
And when the writing gets rough
Hold on to your pen
And don’t drop this
Always take time in your mind to reflect back on the fact
That you’re the next to step forth
From a poetic bloodline”

For other great poems you should check out Just A Synopsis

I've been writing a book, *sigh* because of school i dont have a clue as to WHEN I'll actually be able to dedicate myself to it; the summer maybe?

So One day Me and Biggie Smalls was Out Coat Shoppin'

Biggie talkin' about "Yo Get The Red and Black Lumber Jack"
Im Like "Nah Poppa, It wont look right without the hat to match"
Biggie said he only got enough for the coat.....

so T.I. Shows up and he's like "Shenda, You can have whatever you liiikkeee" So Im Like NAH MAN CHILL

Jim Jones Come Outta No Where Going "You should fuck with me shorty kuz im Ballliiinnn"

Im Like whatever So This dude Kanye talking about "I Aint saying she a gold digger..."

I tell my homeboy Boosie to tell these dudes im "I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T"

These losers didnt know what that meant so boosie got mad and yelled "Do You Know what that mean?!? ....She got her own house, her own car, two jobs work hard she a bad broad"

Truth is ...i aint have no car or no house, im young, so Ne-Yo clarified it and said "She might want, but dont need you"

Im like "thanks Ne-Yo... Hold my purse." He held it and Jim Jones was Like "This dude is Gay"

So Jay-Z told Jim Jones "STFU You mad cuz You Aint Got A Swagger Like Us"

Jim Jones said "F*ck You Im Balllliiinnn" (damn i thought is that the only thing he can say...)

Jay-Z Goes "I'll Slap The Shit Outta You Im A American Gangster..act like You Know"

Lil Wayne Says To Jay-Z "Man Im The Best Rapper Alive" So Hova slaps him and tells him "stop sippin' dat syrup."

Wayne got mad and was like "shut up man you can Li-Li-Lick me like a lollipop....No Homo"

Rihanna Comes out of no where yelling "All Of Ya'll Just Need To Live Ya Life, steady getting this paper" And walks over to Jay-Z

Beyonce was shoe shoppin in Betsey Johnson and seen Rihanna all in Hova's Face and came out and pushed Rihanna away from Hova and said "If He Liked It Then He Woulda Put A Ring On It"

Rihanna smirked and just walked off singing "How bout a round of applause"

This shit was getting crazy....So then Amy Winehouse comes by and see's Lil' Wayne and they mad cool because ...you know they got alot of "stuff" in common. They started talking about Rehab and Amy was like "No, No, No"

Soulja Boy came by with a cape on dancing and stuff with Ciara.

Ciara was like man i cant take this, and confronted Beyonce for stealing her song "Like a Boy"

Beyonce was like "To The Left To the Left" all in Ciara Face.

Then somebody started yelling "It's AboutTo Be A WHAT!!! Girlfight" It was Nivea.
She really got mad when she realized Weezy was wit his New Baby Moms.

I got mad and walked off This was becoming too much. So Me and Biggie Chucked The Deuces and Tupac was about to start some shit then he changed his mind looked at big and was like "I Aint Mad Atcha" and walked with us because he wasnt wit the bullsh*t either.

THEN I WOKE UP......Looked around ..damn what a dream.